Bizarro President

Thank God we have a president who is willing to stand up to missile-wielding tyrants who blackmail the United States!

"We say to those tyrants who believe they can blackmail America and the free world, 'You fire, we're going to shoot it down,' " the Accomplisher in Chief said, day before yesterday.

Sweet! We're going to shoot down missiles! No longer will we have to worry, as we have these past few years, about nuclear missiles flying in and killing us!

"I think those who oppose this ballistic missile system really don't understand the threats of the 21st century," he said. "They're living in the past. We're living in the future. We're going to do what's necessary to protect this country."

What a visionary!

Now, when Bush's utterly inept foreign policy creates missile-wielding tyrants, as it's about to do in North Korea, we will be able to defend ourselves by spending many, many billions of dollars to build stuff that may have a chance of knocking some of those missiles down!

Meanwhile, our populace will be made more hardened and grizzled by all the terror attacks we'll fail to prevent because we've starved our homeland security apparatus and left many thousands of troops bogged down in Iraq instead of hunting down al Qaeda.

Thus, the hardy survivors of the missiles that inevitably will sneak through our defense system will be even hardier as they battle the radiation poisoning and collapse of social order that will accompany nuclear holocaust.

Take that, tyrants!

For more sarcastic fun, check out Fafblog:

"Giblets is living even farther into the future, in a time when terrorism and pinko-tyranny are both irrelevant! Giblets demands that we spend 1.8 trillion dollars on an array of massive space lasers pointed outward to defend Earth against the onslaught of immense insectoid invaders who will strike from beyond the asteroid belt! Giblets will not allow the tyrant Bug Emperor to lay its death spores in our atmosphere - and the whiney pleas of those stuck formulating "today's" foreign policy to secure the former Soviet nuclear stockpile will not get in his way!"